HOW TO MAKE (REAL) FRIENDS ON INSTAGRAM AS AN AUTHOR 

By Laurel Burgess

They say not to trust people you meet online, let alone fly out of state to meet them. Pictured: me, half-dead from elevation sickness, in Colorado with seven authors who connected via Instagram.  No fear. In our retreat, only the fictional perished. 

My dear creative, assuming you want your words read, you will need an assortment of friends to encourage and guide you. Publishers must see your glorious platform before they accept your words. Build your platform on authentic friendships.  

Exist (aka Your Sparkling Account) 

To make friends, you must first exist. Disgusting, I know, but I promise, you’ll be okay. Before you post, examine your mindset.  

Be real. 

That doesn’t mean don’t be safe. Don’t share your social security number or your address. Do have boundaries. But be real. Put your little quirks and passions up for all to see. If you are a sarcastic, dry cracker in real life, be one online. If you are an emotional, gooey donut, ooze, friend! 

When we pretend to be someone we aren’t, we can expect discomfort and strain. Our different personalities will trip us. When we are ourselves, the fun begins.  

Know what you enjoy. 

Name your favorite things to do—hobbies? Professionally? What makes you hype? Peaceful? How do your friends describe you? What is your theme/mission? Your favorite books/movies? Your uncommon likes/dislikes? 

Note: It helps knowing a few things to establish yourself (perhaps what you do and what you enjoy), but it’s okay to dive in without knowing everything. As you discover more about yourself over time, do share who you are. This builds your platform on honesty and uniqueness. 

Show you through posting! 

Posts, reels, stories oh my!  

Share what you enjoy. Pop in an intro post about who you are, what you read, and what you like to do, especially what makes you you.  

Share books you love, project updates, or a confounded philosophical thought that you had at 2 a.m. Consider making a posting schedule and staying consistent with posting (though it is totally cool to change your scheduling plans). 

Hunt (aka Follow) 

Now that you exist, have at least posted once (your intro is posted, right?), and have somewhat of an idea about who you are and what you want to post about… the fun begins. Initiate the hunt.  

Who are we hunting? 

Your favorite authors. 

Just search for their Instagram accounts. If they have an account, and if they are not too weird or politically angry, give them a follow. They might not follow you back, but it’s still helpful to be in the know and see how they use their account. You might connect with the author’s fans or just have a good time. 

Writing communities. 

Like Story_Embers, Youngwritercommunity, and theglorywriters.  

Relevant hashtags. 

Such as: #embersgram #writingcommunity #amwriting #youngwriter  

Note: Don’t give in to following someone if they follow you or ask for a follow. If you don’t feel comfortable with how they interact online, or their account bores you, don’t follow, or do click that unfollow button. Pick your friends. It’s okay, I promise.  

Similarly, don’t follow as many people as possible in hopes that they will return the follow and your account will grow fast. Some people even buy followers for the numbers. That’s weird. Accounts that take the fast track have minimal interaction and lack authentic friendships. It’s better to follow and interact with a handful of accounts, and over time follow and interact with more accounts. Don’t rush the process or your relationships will be flatter than expired pop. 

 Follow people you want to follow, and don’t rush in and follow a hundred or three thousand accounts all at once. Follow and interact over time otherwise the relationships with those accounts will flatter than expired pop.  

Follow Yeetarandomwriter. 

I’m kidding. Unless? ;)  

Stalk More (aka Engage) 

Hazzah! You’ve stalked! But it feels like a one-sided friendship and isn’t that much fun. 

Hang in there. Next, we will engage! 

Comment on posts/reels. 

Comment something long and meaningful or just two emoji hearts (remember to be real, don’t comment just in hopes the poster will see; comment your genuine and kind reaction. Additionally, just in general, be positive online.). 

Example: An author posts about her world-building idea. You think it’s the coolest thing you’ve seen. You comment: This is the coolest thing I’ve seen. 

By Jove, that’s the way to do it! 

Message on the Instagram Story. 

React with emojis, a comment, or a ramble to someone’s stories. It might start a conversation. That’s what you want! 

Share posts from other accounts you follow on your Instagram Story and tag them so they see it. 

Make sure it is a post and an account you actually like and want to elevate, but it’s fun to share great stuff (and maybe get mentioned if they re-share what you shared). 

Post about them. 

If they are an author, buy their book, read it, snap a pic, post it, write a review in the caption, and tag the author. Reminder, please don’t do it if you disliked the author or the book.  

Slay Queen (Next Steps) 

You are getting followers. They are engaging on your account. Pop the sparkling juice! You did it! You achieved friendship! Not yet, fool, drop your scepter, there’s still fun to be had. 

Respond to comments. 

Sometimes you won’t be able to due to lack of time, but responding to comments shows you saw them and helps build a connection. 

Respond to your Direct Messages. 

Unless it is a creepy message, or they are trying to scam you. If that happens, then screenshot it, block them, and laugh about them with in-person friends. 

Ask if anyone wants to collaborate through a giveaway, photo challenge, a reel etc.  

This is awesome because it gets your followers and the other author’s followers to see both of you “hanging out” and they might want to check you out too. 

Ask to beta read or ask for beta readers. 

Everyone likes help and enjoys giving every once in a while. 

Ask questions in a post/story. 

Thank your followers and share the advice while tagging them so they know you saw what they said. 

Note: if you need a break, don’t neglect the budding flowers of friendships by disappearing without a goodbye (unless health reasons or personal reasons demand it), post a little hiatus (aka, I’m going on a break) post, say farewell, rest, and return to have fun with your Instagram friends. 

If you do get a chance to meet up with these online friends, perhaps even flying out of state on your own, go for it. You might just build memories and friendships that will last a lifetime (and outlast elevation sickness!).